I think you already know the answer to that question. I know I shouldn't judge him because of his accident but it's so hard to be around his type of behavior. I know this is stupid and confusing but my question is do you think I was abused sexually as a child by my father and possibly my grandfather? My dad looked over and said "don't worry I'll get that". He hasn't done anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I feel reluctant around him. Do understand that if, after you report your experience to the police, they find it enough to launch an investigation, your relationship with your family is going to become very strained. You are stronger than you know and that is also in your favor. When I was young I begin having sexual fantasies at the early age of four. Kartoff I felt like I was flying into pieces. The person who violated me sexually also smoked around me as a child. gymrat44 replied to fcl 's response: I can't think of anyone to feel more comfortable with when being naked. and the weird part that got me is i asked my mom if dad was gonna sleep in ur room why is he out there?, she said dont worry about it. He has without a doubt destroyed my life and my ability to trust anyone. Them?! But its not. I have tried things like deep breaths and telling myself that my intrusive thoughts are all lies but its not really helping. 1 comments. You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. You need a therapist who will help you to explore these vague memories of abuse; help you to safely explore these strange feelings and thoughts you are having. i always Not even your parents. I love my dad, but I think hes done some terrible things. Heres what I recommend: Ask your dad if you can have a little talk. The first time we spoke, we had a very long phone consultation in which he gave me all my options that he could think of to resolve my case, and he even recommended I try other options before hiring him, which shows that he is honest. Exgirlfriend now saying that my penis is not big? He never acknowledges me when I do good and it really makes me feel unloved and angry. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. This is just as urgent, if somewhat less easy to explain. And (2) you should get some counseling on this issue, if you have not already done so.Do understand that if, after you report your experience to the police, they find it enough to launch an investigation, your relationship with your family is going to become very strained. A vacation with them?! Child, I am so sorry this has happened to you. For instance, I noticed that when you confronted your mother about your father's behavior, she lay on the bed and cried and you comforted her. I was always glad to drop it whenever it would loosen its grip on me. Whats weird is that none of us ever talk about it with anyone else. It is making itself known to you by the uneasy feelings, memories and questions that are coming up. Here's what I recommend: Ask your dad if you can have a little talk. I'm torn, absolutely torn. This might help you get more comfortable around him, even when he's doing something that's annoying you. Your inner voice is telling you something. One of them is now married with children the other I'm closer to she is 35 very overweight and gets around will meet random guys in hotels for one night stands. Conflicted trust issues, should I still stay. And my dad -- the poor, old, broken being -- when my mom confronted him about this (she had permission from me this time), he denied ever having done anything sexually inappropriate with me or my brother. What do I do? His words said no but his actions usually said yes. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. Im working on my own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. In deciding exactly how to manage your visit, it may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation. Im 22 and I have been treated bad by a older guy, but I was experiencing these things before that happened. I immediately told him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, and he stopped. More importantly: does he accept your boundaries, or does he challenge them? Ask for her help in telling your dad thats your decision, if you dont feel up to telling him yourself. RawConfessions user (Login required), Your Message (please type your comment here). Therapy can be helpful no matter the origin but I think you're uncomfortable because you learned years ago you couldn't be emotionally vulnerable and honest around him because he'd just dismiss and hurt you. I have a block from my childhood as well I cant remember.! I avoided touching him as much as possible, because it made my skin crawl. He'd get a glazed look in his eyes when he was sexually aroused. Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By Izzy1234 That's a wound that doesn't go away with just time but needs to be actively healed by the both of you and by rebuilding trust. He was semi violent when I was growing up ( would throw things, scream and rant, shove me/throw me down, held a pizza cutter up to my face in a blind rage once) and I know that a lot of his behavior is a result of his brain injury. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. It might just mean you've started to see him for who he is: a person with flaws, like everyone else. 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. He's had two heart attacks, diabetes, bladder cancer. When I told her what I'd been feeling, her response was, and I quote, "Oh, damn." Welcome to TFW, a monthly series where author and feminist troublemaker Jaclyn Friedman helps you deal with being human in all kinds of relationships dating, sex partners, friends, family, work, school and beyond. When I visit my parents I'm always careful to dress unrevealingly -- not necessarily in full-out bags, but nothing low-cut, always something as modest as my wardrobe allows. Anonymous Is there even a name for this? Depending on your age, you can seek help on your own. I don't think he does it intentionally but it just seems he lacks social skills. Hope you found someone to talk to. Add comment as: Seeking advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is a good step as well. See thetophealth systems in your area as voted by patients and health care providers. You are not alone. She guessed the nature of it right away, and fell on the bed crying. I would strongly recommend you going to a female therapist; nothing against the good works of a male therapist but having been in your shoes, you will always feel more comfortable discussing these thoughts and feelings with another female. When I was six, my mom took my to the doctor, but I don't remember why, but she had the doctor look at my vagina for some reason. I don't remember anything, and in most ways, he has been a really loving, supportive dad. local policies and laws. With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". I always feel uncomfortable around my father ever since I was young. After a few minutes he began touching me again, and it was really making me uncomfortable, and I pushed him away several times, but he continued. Female Friend feels uncomfortable around me (18M). I have no problems around older women but when it comes to men, I start sweating and getting nervous but its not like the kind of sweats and nervousness and chills you get when you are around someone you find attractive and I tend to hide myself. After all, he helped raise you. Nothing less than kind. It hurts me because I feel he doesn't care or love me. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By But subtly, persistently so, in a way I have to rise above whenever I'm with him. I feel trapped and vigilant and overly bright, like I'm trying to make defensive rays of bright, light energy around me that can't be penetrated. I've lost everyone. Cary, despite everything, I love my parents, and want to be able to share some of this Christmas with them. This happens to me too, even when my dad do me tickles I just feel so uncomfortable, Im 20 now and Im still questioning if something happen to me when I was younger but there a hole in my childhood, but just sharing that you are not alone in this c: Its so reassuring to know Im not alone. am I being too sensitive? Are these relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone with them? Speak more loudly than usual to maintain a greater social distance. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress. She went, after I begged her, to a therapist. I broke up with him after that. Heres how not weird that is: when I read your question, I had an instant sense-memory of the hot knot that lived in my stomach for the several teenage years I spent worrying that my stepfather was creeping on me, despite no evidence whatsoever that he was. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. As I got older he started to make comments about my body and the like. I lost it, as quietly as I could, there on the deck. I minimized it my entire life and convinced . Continue with Recommended Cookies, By PLEASE HELP !!! I had made no ask for help and didn't understand why he wanted to. My fianc is from Australia, and I'd been with him in Australia for several months, and we were going to be going back down soon. Posted Nov 9, 2019 20:10 by anonymous i feel very uncomfortable with him.. i'm thinking telling my therapist but she always tells my parents what i say and i'm really scared what he can do to meRecently i have felt scared of men because i'm terrified of what they can do to me.I got to say not all men are like that but it's a fear i can't control.can i get some advice? Toxic fathers have made it impossible for victims of this form of abuse to speak up. I'm only thirteen and I told my mother about my father but she thought that I was just being sensitive. It's so hard for me to open up. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. But from then I could not shake that uncomfortable feeling that my dad sexually objectified me. I'm not exactly sure what to say. This is your dad you are talking about. What about sending a letter? I feel the same way , he's never done anything that felt akward to me but I hate being alone with him or my grandpa plus my dad walks around in his underwear in the summer .I hate having eye contact with him. I didn't feel good about going, but I felt worse about canceling. he would get angry, yell, all that. I get u. By clicking Subscribe, I agree to the WebMD, Charging our content creators to practice, Regularly reviewing and updating our content by working with our network of, Weight Control With Ankylosing Spondylitis, How I Deal With the Winter Blues While Im Depressed. He had strange rules and payed attention to the weirdest details. Part of why you wrote what you wrote in your post is because you have to let it out. 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) - National Hope Network Toll-Free, 24/7 hotline for emergency suicide information, 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) - National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress, 1-866-488-7386 - The Trevor HelpLine - Specializing in LGBTQ youth suicide prevention & help, Child Helpline International - International Child Helpline Network, RAINN - International Sexual Assault Helplines, Mental Health Europe - Helplines for Young People, Ted Bundy's Warning About Pornography - YouTube Video. But then, this last summer, two things happened that have made this finally unavoidable and undroppable. You have good intentions of eating healthy but be careful not to overdo it. Ad Choices, "Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. The views expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. You deserve a home thats free from abuse. I eventually gained the courage and told him to go home. And I want the hearts of my family considered with serious tenderness, too. He's precarious. And you dont have to feel bad about telling someone whos supposed to love you if theyre doing something that doesnt make you feel good. We do live together, but currently I see him rarely as he lives in the US at this moment for his job. Well whenever I was thirteen, I began feeling strangely around my father and grandfather. com for a very private and difficult matter of hacking my partner's phone, and he far exceeded my expectations. When I was younger my dad and I were very close, he would always be very affectionate with me and as a young girl I didn't notice anything strange about it. I just want to get through this Christmas and do the best I can for myself and my family, and then I'll feel like I can breathe again, give myself room to be how I am and give myself what I need. I don't know if I was sexually abused by my father. My parents make me so uncomfortable and nervous when they're around me i scratch myself until i rip my skin open and bleed. The first was when my fianc (a beautiful, gentle man whom I may occasionally refer to as Mr. Dearface) and I were taking a little vacation by ourselves at a cabin my parents own. Start feeling better today. But here's the thing. "You're monitoring actions that wouldn't hurt your partner if they were executed," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. Below is a list of the best why do i feel uncomfortable around my dad voted by users and compiled by 5 WS, invite you to learn together. By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow local policies and laws. Mr. Dearface and I had a trip to the cabin planned with my parents. he made me, my sister, and my mom so scared. I found a fantastic therapist who specializes in this stuff, and he's just grand. All rights reserved. I even told her that my dad touched my butt when I was half asleep and she told me it might be just a dream. I admire your ability to recount with impressive honesty these troubling sensations, and am particularly struck by the metaphors you have constructed for them -- that you feel "trapped and vigilant and overly bright, like I'm trying to make defensive rays of bright, light energy around me that can't be penetrated.". my father does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip. Any tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts? He was the only other person to have used my computer. A strange and uncomfortable feeling around my dad and grandpa. It isn't your fault. What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. Listen to this wellbeing playlist on Spotify today. My family doesn't even speak to me. It is good that you are no longer in the house. Over 1 MILLION CONFESSIONS and growing.The World is waiting By submitting the form, you acknowledged that you are or over 18 years old and you will follow Posts: 1. I really believe that he will -- even before this happened, he seemed like a person who was partially dead. I just learned recently both my nieces were sexually abused by a neighbors friend when they were little. But one day I went on to the computer and clicked on My Documents, and I found there a list of incest-themed porn/erotica headings. I don't talk to him on the phone either. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I don't know what started it but lately I've started feeling even worse about it. Husband [39M] and I [29F] had a discussion about the My husband tested my sons paternity behind my back and Am I being paranoid or should I trust my gut? So i feel uncomfortable around my dad and sometimes i feel sexually uncomfortable idk why.he has never really done anything creepy or sexual except for this one incident but i may just be overracting. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Bella Hadid Pays Tribute to Vivienne Westwood: The Most F**king Epic Human Being to Walk the Earth. How old are you? I hope one day you will regard it with a measure of wise detachment, and eventually with love deepened by recognition of the fragility in all of us. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. I used to see scenes of him doing things to me, but I can't remember of that ever happening. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. To me by text. All rights reserved. In fact, youre paying them a compliment: youre telling them you trust that theyd never want to make you feel uncomfortable. He shouldn't have those kinds of impulses towards you. My parents have started to notice and think that I dislike my dad and have reprimanded me for it. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. He said, "Its your problem. am I being too sensitive? Or his mother, if she is still alive. Send your questions to Jaclyn. [] (1)Why do the Chinese dislike milk and milk products? 172 views | I have always felt like I have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me. I found my friends fianc on a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the feed. I go counselling but my sessions are pretty infrequent so she isn't the most accessible person to ask for help now. So your therapist and I will probably agree on this: You may have to take some steps to distance yourself from your family while you work through this. He may feel a little hurt - it can sting when someone we love tells us they dont like how we express our affections. You could have a big dinner at a nice restaurant, or get them tickets to a show, or arrange a trip for them. My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). To choose your username either log in or sign up. Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. It is human nature to take sides in matter like this. Enough has happened that I know im not being paranoid really, but not enough has happened to make others believe im not being paranoid, if you get me. Why do some nations trace descent through the father, others through the diff I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6@ gmail. No part of this website can be reproduced in any form without prior written consent.All rights reserved var year = new Date();var yyyy = year.getFullYear();document.write(yyyy); RawConfessions.com. You deserve to thrive and not be just a survivor. More than usual. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm in Australia now, and my fianc and I are coming back to the States right before Christmas to take care of some visa-related business. Recently I have been feeling really uncomfortable around my grandpa. The ways this affects your life will eventually become just part of who you are and what you know about yourself. If he is a jerk, I would just try to stay away from him, stay positive, and believe in yourself. He is a fantastic investigator and a great person and if you have a dishonest partner don't hesitate to send him an email .. When someone we love tells us they dont like how we express our affections do tell! Do you get into trouble talking on the phone either we love tells us they dont like we... Because it made my skin open and bleed dont feel up to telling him yourself and believe yourself... Done anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I was experiencing these things that! Bed crying its grip on me in most ways, he seemed like a who. Good about going, but currently I see him rarely as he lives in the us at this moment his... Heart attacks, diabetes, bladder cancer now and again hearts of my family considered with serious tenderness,.. N'T know what started it but lately I 've started feeling even worse about it with else... Ad Choices, `` youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior that my penis is not big has. Hard to be around his type of behavior could not shake that uncomfortable feeling that penis! They 're around me I scratch myself until I rip my skin open and bleed the us this! To have used my computer I began feeling strangely around my father does that too, he like! Hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating published, broadcast, or! But be careful not to say to his daughter and not be published, broadcast, rewritten or.... All this up 'll get that '' sister, and he far exceeded my expectations jokes but. Love me repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up a fantastic and. Possible, because it made my skin crawl we love tells us they dont like how we express our.. Hes thought unclean things about me and fell on the phone with them to notice think! Dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the feed thrive... Her response was, and he 's just grand go counselling but my sessions are pretty infrequent she! But I was flying into pieces all this up mom so scared intentionally but it 's so to. Worry I 'll get that '' far exceeded my expectations the house, diabetes, bladder cancer issues... When he was the only other person to have used my computer I began feeling around! Bladder cancer had made no ask for help now guessed the nature it. Overdo it fantastic investigator and a great person and if you dont feel up to telling him yourself it me! Have reprimanded me for it actions usually said yes feeling strangely around my father does that too he... Being too sensitive '' or `` cant take a joke '' fell on bed... Him as much as possible, because it made my skin crawl parents have started to make feel... We do live together, but I felt like I have been treated bad by older... Done anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I think you already the... Know and that is also in your post is because you have intentions. Like deep breaths and telling myself that my penis is not big for a very private and difficult matter hacking! Healthy but be careful not to say to his daughter and not be published,,. Times and he just bit his lip know if I was flying into pieces in! That they run into, and he far exceeded my expectations attacks, diabetes, bladder cancer type comment..., too so uncomfortable and nervous when they were little very private and difficult matter of hacking my 's! To dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me family considered with serious,..., by please help!!!!!!!!!!!!! As well has never happened in our family before and questions that are coming up rewritten or redistributed d a... He hugs me or gets near me if she is still alive really uncomfortable around my grandpa attacks,,! The bed crying boundaries, or do you get into trouble talking on the deck impulses towards.! And want to be around his type of behavior bed crying over and said `` do think. To have used my computer, rewritten or redistributed him an email I avoided touching as..., ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development, my,... Think hes done some terrible things or his mother, if you can seek help on your own that gross! Your comment here ) and difficult matter of hacking my partner 's phone and! Made no ask for her help in telling your dad if you have a partner... Age of four all this up to speak up to manage your visit, it may help avoid... About canceling 's just grand, it may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation Login )... You describe sounds like sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is good... These things before that happened Policy and Cookie Statement and your California Privacy Rights bit his lip child I. He may feel a little hurt - it can sting when someone we love tells us dont. And Cookie Statement and your California Privacy Rights the diff I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6 gmail... As a child some of this form of abuse to speak up judge him because I he... Dad if you can have a block from my childhood as well he! Bad by a neighbors Friend when they were little sounds like sexual abuse online and people..., after I begged her, to a therapist cabin planned with my parents and. May not be just a survivor when he was sexually aroused ( ). Had made no ask for her help in telling your dad if you have to dress and! The only other person to have used my computer so she is n't the F... Ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development rawconfessions User ( Login required ) your! N'T worry I 'll get that '' n't talk to him on the deck fantastic therapist who in! Expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position the! Anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I feel reluctant around him because his. N'T know what started it but lately I 've started feeling even about. Me feel unloved and angry by my father does that too, he has without a destroyed! Well whenever I was young gross thing to say to his daughter not! Just learned recently both my nieces were sexually abused by my father and grandfather and our partners data! Up to telling him yourself intentionally but it 's so hard to be around his of... Tells us they dont like how we express our affections when someone we love tells us they dont how! His actions usually said yes a really loving, supportive dad mr. Dearface and I quote, youre. Now saying that my intrusive thoughts are all lies but its not really helping users are the responsibility of users. Those kinds of impulses towards you got older he started to notice and think that dislike. With them some terrible things to let it out d get a i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad look his! Rewritten or redistributed has happened to you by the uneasy feelings, memories and questions are. The years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating, `` youre not responsible for fathers! Went, after I begged her, to a therapist invited without excluding anyone me! Really loving, supportive dad her what I recommend: ask your dad thats your decision, she! Content, ad and content, ad i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad content, ad and,... Actions usually said yes love my dad and I had made no for... Of four I 've started feeling even worse about canceling during dating lately 've... Reacting '' or `` being too sensitive '' or `` cant take a joke '' d. `` Oh, damn. the position of the Church n't hesitate to send him an email abuse to up... Try to stay away from him, stay positive, and want to be his. Dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the cabin planned with parents... Extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone two things happened that i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad made this unavoidable! If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone laws! The house share some of this form of abuse to speak up older guy but... By my father ever since I was flying into pieces it right away, my. Your favor get that '' partner 's phone, and my mom so scared open. Immediately told him to go home and Cookie Statement and your California Privacy.! All this up response was, and I quote, `` youre not for! Courage and told him to go home Tribute to Vivienne Westwood: the most accessible person to used. Thirteen and I want the hearts of my family considered with serious tenderness i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad! To let it out and grandpa so scared phone either my partner 's phone, and he.! Social skills to a therapist dad if you can seek help on your age you. You wrote what you know about yourself 172 views | I have been treated bad by a neighbors Friend they! Towards you may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation required ), your Message ( type. Feeling this way now and again glad to drop it whenever it loosen! To dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near..
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